Happy Together Quotes

The parish bulletin is a communication tool that fulfills many functions. One of these is to inspire. Why not have weekly inspirational quotes about marriage in your parish bulletin? To catch the attention of the reader you could title these quotes with the heading: MARRIAGE MATTERS. Find below 52 quotes from the book Happy Together, the Catholic Blueprint for a Loving Marriage. Feel free to use these to educate the members of your parish on married life as a path to holiness. – John Bosio (jbosio1@aol.com)

1) What you believe affects how you live.

What you believe about marriage and about your spouse affects the way you treat each other. Ultimately what you believe about marriage influences whether you are happy or miserable in your relationship, and whether you stay married or not. What do you believe marriage is?

2) Society needs you to have a happy marriage.

Your marital happiness is important not just to you, but also to all of society. Your joy has a positive impact on everyone around you, and your relationship teaches yourchildren what marriage is about. What is your marriage teaching your children? John Bosio – Happy Together: the Catholic Blueprint for a Loving Marriage, © 2008

3) You married to serve God.

Like Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Rachel, and Mary and Joseph, you and your spouse as a couple have a role to play in God’s design. On your wedding day, you said “Yes” to each other and to God. You agreed to serve Him as a married couple. How do you serve God in your marriage?

4) Selfishness is the cause of marital problems.

Selfishness is the root-cause of most marital difficulties and breakups. Selfishness is choosing to do what “I” want and when “I” want, without any regard for its impact on my spouse. We act selfishly when we place “me” at the center of our relationship instead of “us.” Are your conflicts caused by selfishness?

5) God is ready to help you in your marriage.

In Christ we receive God’s graces to help us overcome our challenges and to strengthen our unity. All we need to do is to listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and to ask for his help to open our hearts to one another. Do you ask God for his help in loving your spouse?

6) What keeps you together?

When you believe that your marriage is an act of service to God your relationship takes on a special meaning. It is a mission. Then, your motivation to stay together comes no longer from how you feel today, or from what is convenient for “me. Your motivation comes from the irrevocable commitment you made to each other, to God and to society. What motivates you to love your spouse?

7) Remember the goodness that attracted you to your spouse.

What brings man and woman together and keeps them together is the goodness each spouse finds in the other, and in the life they share. Without this experience of goodness in each other, the romantic relationship cannot start, nor can the marriage find the energy to last. Do you remember how you felt when your spouse-to-be first caught your attention?

8) Keep showing your goodness to your spouse.

What keeps couples together is the conviction that there is goodness in their marriage, even in the darkest moments. Unfortunately some of these dark moments happen because we hide our own goodness from each other. Today find a way to show your goodness to your spouse.

9) Be the gift you promised to be.

John Paul II commented that God created man and woman for a purpose: “to be with and for each other.” They were created to keep each other company, to fill one another’s incompleteness, to share in God’s creative power, and most of all, they were created to be a mutual gift to one another. How are you a gift to your spouse?

10) Your wedding day

Your wedding day was for you like a new day of creation. On that day, in God’s

presence and surrounded by family and friends, you promised each other to become “one” and to put your life at the service of God. Do you remember your wedding vows?

11) Make decisions that are good for both of you.

To survive our daily hustle and bustle we are naturally inclined to make choices based on what is good for me. But in marriage our choices cannot be based just on “what is good for me personally.” Our choices have to be based on “what is good for us.” In making your decisions do you consider what is good for your spouse?

12) Love conquers selfishness.

The antidote to selfishness is the practice of true love. True love is the act of being “with” and “for” each other without placing conditions. It is the love that we crave naturally because God made us for such loving when he created us in his image. Self-giving love is the way God loves and intends for us to love one another. Is your love for your spouse self-giving?

13) Christ teaches us to love.

From Christ’s love for his bride, the Church, we learn attitudes and behaviors that express true love and give us joy. These are: the willingness to welcome and accept each other the perseverance to keep our promises, the generosity to give unselfishly, the humility to forgive and ask for forgiveness, the compassion to console, and the eagerness to serve God and one another. How are these attitudes and behaviors present in your relationship?

14) Accept your spouse each day.

On your wedding day, when you said: “I take you to be my spouse” you promised to embrace not only what is good about your spouse, but also what is imperfect about this person. How are you keeping that promise?

15) Ask God for his graces.

Accepting our spouse’s imperfections is difficult. When you find it hard recite the Serenity Prayer: Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. In time, with the help of prayer, you will grow to accept each other’s differences and idiosyncrasies and your relationship will move to a different level. Pray for help in being more tolerant toward your spouse

16) Be attentive to your spouse’s needs.

At your wedding you exchanged rings as a sign of your fidelity. Faithfulness is the cornerstone of the marital relationship. It means sexual fidelity and much more. The marital commitment is the promise to always be present to each other, to always be aware of each other’s needs, and most of all to always be honest.

How attentive are you to your spouse’s needs?
John Bosio – Happy Together: the Catholic Blueprint for a Loving Marriage, © 2008

17) Stay turned toward each other.

Marriage therapists tell us that one of the keys of marital success is the commitment by the spouses to “stay turned toward each other.” The spouses that do so think about each other in everything they do; they keep in mind what the other likes or dislikes. They do little things for the pleasure of the other. They show interest in what the other is doing. They make each other the top priority in their life. Is your spouse your top priority?

18) Be honest, always!

Truth and honesty are an essential part of being faithful to each other, because truth is an essential part of love. Love is not love unless it is a sincere gift of oneself. When deceit or manipulations are present in a relationship what seems to be love is a mere game of make belief. How honest are you with your spouse?

19) Married life is like a three-legged-race.

Couples that want to succeed at the three-legged-race that is marriage need to surrender their selfish tendencies and synchronize their wills. Pope Pius XI wrote in his encyclical on marriage that while God created the institution of marriage, it is the spouses that create their own marital relationship through their mutual surrender to each other for life. How are you doing in your three-legged race?

20) Surrender to your marriage.

In the three-legged-race that is marriage surrendering one’s will to the rhythm of the race is truly the secret of success. Such surrendering is not easy because it demands giving up one’s wishes in order to accommodate one’s spouse. It may require compromising to achieve a common goal. It can also mean challenging one’s spouse to stay on the course. How good are you at accommodating and respectfully challenging your spouse?

21) Collaborate to win the three-legged-race.

The words “surrender” and “submission” are often greeted with negative emotions in today’s society. They connote weakness and inferiority. Yet, these are necessary in marriage. Successful spouses accept the role of husband/father and wife/mother and surrender to all that these roles demand for the sake of the marriage and the family. How are you accepting your role as a spouse and a parent?

22) Love is not boastful.

Self-giving is the central attitude in marriage. It is the attitude through which spouses let go of their ways of doing things, and their personal preferences to make room in their life for the spouse. The practice of self-giving requires making sacrifices that often go un- noticed because true love is not boastful (1 Cor. 13:4), and it does not keep score. Are you tempted to keep score with your spouse?

23) Self-giving is not the same as being a door-mat.

Self-giving does not equate with doing everything your spouse wants you to do. Self- giving does not mean accommodating destructive habits, doing things that go against your principles, or accepting behaviors that are demeaning to you and to your spouse. Sometimes self-giving requires challenging your spouse respectfully. Are you able to challenge your spouse’s wishes or actions in a respectful manner?

24) Manage your recurring conflicts.

Researchers tell us that conflicts in marriage are inevitable and that 69% of all marital conflicts are not resolvable. All couples have problems that keep recurring. Successful couples take these in stride. Sometimes they use humor to diffuse tension; they compromise; or they agree to disagree and accommodate each other. How do you manage your recurring conflicts?

25) Mutual Surrender

Mutual surrender is necessary to find happiness in marriage. Mutual surrender takes place when you have the courage to call time-out in the middle of a heated discussion so that you can calm yourself down and prevent escalation. Mutual surrender is listening, it is exploring alternatives, and it is compromising to arrive at a solution acceptable to both. How good are you at listening without interrupting your spouse?

26) In spite of all good intentions we often fall short.

In spite of our good intentions we criticize when we should try to understand, we lie

when we should be honest, and we make demands what we should be giving. The only cure for the pains we inflict on one another is forgiveness. To heal our wounds we need to acknowledge our failings, ask for forgiveness, promise to do better, and make reparation. Do you have the courage to ask forgiveness of your spouse?

27) Forgiveness requires humility.

Forgiveness is founded first of all on the humble acknowledgement that I am not perfect and I am a sinner like anyone else. Jesus invites us to become aware of this when he challenged the Scribes and Pharisees who brought to him a woman caught in adultery. The motivation to forgive is that we too need mercy and forgiveness. How easy is it for you to forgive your spouse?

28) Forgiveness is letting go.

Forgiveness is more than “not getting even.” To forgive means accepting to live with the consequences of what your spouse has done. It means letting go of the anger, the fear, the hurt, and the pain you feel. These negative emotions cloud everything in your relationship; and if you hang on to them they will damage or destroy it. How easy is it for you to let go of negative feelings toward your spouse.

29) Take the first step.

After a broken promise, big or small, spouses turn away from each other. The hard work in the process of reconciliation and forgiveness begins with taking the first step in turning yourself back toward your spouse. How do you take the first step to reconcile with your spouse?

30) Forgiveness lets the life of the relationship flow again.

In a marital relationship forgiveness removes barriers and rebuilds bridges. It opens doors that were closed. It turns spouses back toward each other. It reconnects them and lets the life of the relationship flow again. When this happens peace returns, and happiness springs once more because husband and wife feel in their relationship the presence of God. Does your relationship need new life through forgiveness?

31) Love heals.

In marriage, husbands and wives become each other’s primary comforters and healers, not only physically, but also spiritually. The bishops gathered at the Second Vatican Council stated that God has given marital love many gifts, among these are the power to heal and to help spouses perfect each other.

Do you find comfort in your spouse’s love when you are sick?

32) Your life is grafted to your spouse’s life.

Your spouse’s life is grafted into yours and therefore your health, happiness, and

financial success affect not only you but also your spouse and your family. Spouses

protect each other and help each other. When difficulties arise they pull together. How good are you at pulling together and helping each other?

33) Let your touch be soothing.

What spouses yearn to receive from each other in times of pain and stress is support. This is often expressed with words and with touch. Touch soothes and energizes because it sends messages of care and love to the person who receives it. Jesus healed with touch. Some spouses have a need for touch more than others. If your spouse enjoys physical contact give your spouse the gift of touch as an expression of your love.

34) Chose words that heal.

Jesus used words to heal. Words are the means through which you reach out to your spouse to give encouragement, to praise, to compliment, and to give advice. The words you use and the tone of voice with which you deliver them affect your spouse. With your words you can hurt, and you can heal. Are you aware of your tone of voice when you speak to your spouse?

35) Prayer is the source of strength in marriage.

In your moments of crisis you can reach beyond yourself to find guidance and strength in God. It is through prayer that you can look at your relationship from God’s perspective. Through prayer you can find the courage to stay turned toward your spouse and continue to work on your marriage, even when it is hard. Do you pray for your spouse?

36) Prayer is to your marriage what food is to your body.

Prayer is the spiritual food that your relationship needs. Prayer, whether said alone or together, has the power to strengthen your bond. A 1999 study conducted by t

Ministry to Interchurch Marriages found that joint religious activity by husband and wife is a predictor of marital stability. How do you feed the spiritual needs of your marriage?

37) Feelings are an invitation to prayer.

The simplest way to pray is to be aware of your own feelings and emotions and let these be an invitation to lift your heart and mind to God. Your feelings of awe, fear, joy, sadness, anger, frustration and even depression are doorways to God. God waits for you in the depth of your heart, at the threshold of your emotions. Let your feelings remind you of your need for God.

38) The Mass is the best nourishment for your marriage.

Mass is for husband and wife a clear invitation to be transformed and learn to love each other as Christ loves the Church. Benedict XVI explains: “It has always been clear that the goal of the Eucharist is our own transformation, so that we become ‘one body and spirit’ with Christ.” At Mass ask God’s help to grow in love for your spouse.

39) Learn from Christ how to love your spouse.

Make your participation in the Eucharist an occasion to learn from Christ what it means to love your spouse. He loves us totally – he accepts us, he is always present, he forgives us, he comforts us, he serves us, and he nourishes us with his own body. This is what we must do for our spouse. Do you love your spouse like Christ loves you?

40) Forgiving

At the beginning of Mass we ask God for his mercy and forgiveness. We say: I confess to almighty God and to you my brothers and sisters (husband/wife) that I have sinned. I am sorry, please forgive me. Let this confession of your sinfulness soften your heart toward your spouse. Your spouse is imperfect too. Let your intolerance and judgmental attitude melt away. Let go of grudges, resentments, and hurt feelings. Are your ready to make the participation in the Mass a growth opportunity for your marriage?

41) Self-Giving

During the Mass Christ gives himself fully to us: “Take this...and eat.” The Eucharistic ritual reminds us that, to follow Christ’s example, we must be willing to give and to make sacrifices for the good of our marital relationship. How good are you at making compromises to accommodate your spouse?

42) Sacrifices

When attending Mass, moved by Christ’s self-giving sacrifice, ask yourself: Am I giving my spouse the attention I promised? Am I being honest with my spouse? Am I sharing with my spouse my thoughts, my wishes, my plans? Am I willing to listen without interrupting? Am I willing to understand my spouse’s opinion? Am I willing to take the first step in making peace? How am I doing?

43) Sign of Peace

When at Mass with your spouse take advantage of the ritual called “the sign of peace” to celebrate your unity as a couple. This is one more opportunity during the Eucharistic celebration to tear down the obstacles that stand between your spouse and you. Make the words you say: “Peace be with you” truly an expression of good will and love for your spouse.

44) Spiritual Nourishment

When you and your spouse participate in the Mass and let the grace that comes from these rituals open your hearts to God and to each other, you leave the celebration of the Eucharist fed and nourished spiritually. Are you willing to consider attending Mass regularly as a way to grow in your marriage?

45) “Go in Peace to Love and Serve the Lord.”

The graces received during the celebration of the Mass do not stay within the confines of the church building. Couples carry these blessings with them when they leave to go home. At the end of the Mass we are sent out as a community to serve God in whatever we do, and to love others as Christ loves us. How do you serve your spouse and your family?

46) Prayer

Prayer, whether private or public is the force that keeps you together. Prayer is the nourishment that gives you strength when you feel weak. It is the food that gives you the courage to persevere when you feel like running away. Prayer is talking to God. It is listening to his quiet whispers. Prayer is giving God thanks and praise for the joys you experience together as husband and wife. When do you pray?

47) Obstacles to Growing in Love.

The reason we don’t make progress on our journey to loving our spouse is our resistance to change. We prefer doing what we want do. We keep our own habits and preferences, and persist with our ideas, even if these cause conflicts in our relationship. The comfort of keeping our own views and habits outweighs the discomfort it causes to the relationship. Does this describe your marriage in some way?

48) Do you expect your spouse to change?

Too often, instead of changing our own behaviors we expect our spouse to change and to accommodate us. Instead of obliging him or her we want our spouse to accept our idiosyncrasies, our preferences, and our wishes. This is a problem because our spouse hates to change just as much as we do. And so, we play games with each other that keep us from growing in love. Do you find yourself in a tug-of-war with your spouse?

49) Making Progress

To make progress on the journey to love you must make changes, don’t wait for your spouse to change, and don’t force change on your spouse. If you wonder where to start, begin where you know there is pain in the relationship. Change must begin with you. Are there painful situations in your relationship?

50) You are both Imperfect.

As you travel this journey called marriage remember that you and your spouse are both imperfect. No matter how hard you try to love each other you will never be able to fully satisfy each other’s need for love. How tolerant are you of your spouse’s imperfections?

51) The Final Destination

When you look at marriage, guided by the Christian faith, you see that what man and woman seek to experience in marriage is a taste, although imperfect, of the communion with God that their hearts desire. What do you believe marriage is? John Bosio – Happy Together: the Catholic Blueprint for a Loving Marriage, © 2008

52) The Joys of Marriage

The feelings of joy and pleasure that you cherish in your spouse’s embrace are a preview of the immense happiness you will experience when you meet God face to face and are held in his loving arms. Marriage is a journey to communion with each other that leads to God. Today cherish the pleasure of holding your spouse’s hand.

For information, contact: John Bosio Jbosio1@AOL.com www.happy-together.net

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