What you believe about your marriage and about your spouse shapes the way you treat your mate. Ultimately what you believe about marriage influences whether you are happy or miserable in your relationship, and whether you stay married or not.
We Christians believe that God intends for marriage to bring joy to the human heart. We are a gift to each other and find fulfillment and happiness together.
Being a gift is not easy. Your life is the epic of two people wanting to find happiness together and struggling to achieve it. You want to give but you find yourself:
-short-tempered and impatient when you should be tolerant,
-critical and sarcastic when you should be understanding,
-demanding when you should be accommodating,
-deceitful when you should be honest,
-causing pain and discomfort when you should be comforting,
-expecting to be served when you should be serving,
-vengeful and holding a grudge when you should be forgiving,
-self-absorbed when you should be attentive.
...and the list continues.
Many of the potentially damaging behaviors described above are present in all marriages to some degree. They are not caused by irreconcilable differences or by personality disorders. They all stem from selfishness. Selfishness is the root cause of all marital difficulties and breakups. Selfishness is placing "me" at the center of our life as a couple instead of "us." Selfishness is a fundamental attitude that causes me to turn my back on my spouse and keeps the two of us from being the gift that we are.
Thankfully, God, who wants us to be happy, gave us his Son, Jesus, who taught us how to love, and gave us the Holy Spirit to help us ovecome our selfishness and to find the courage to love through his graces.
In Christ's love we find the blueprint for building the relationship of husband and wife in a Christian marriage. When spouses follow the example of Jesus in loving each other they are transformed into the couple that God called them to be. They become the image of God, a sacrament of divine love to each other and to their community. The book defines the marital blue print for a Christian marriage.
When you believe that you are a gift to your spouse, that your happiness comes from overcoming selfishness, and that Christ is your help and your model for loving, then your marriage takes on a special meaning. Your motivation to stay together comes no longer from how you feel today, or from what is convenient for you, or from what is fashionable among your friends. Your motivation comes from the irrevocable commitment you made to each other, to God, and to society. It comes from your knowledge that others need you and count on you to be a good husband and a good wife. It is this kind of motivation that will lead you to grow in love for each other and for God in spite of the difficulties you may encounter.
HAPPY TOGETHER describes the blueprint for growth in your Christian marriage.