Happy Together

Blessed Are Those Who Chose What Is Right

                                                             by John Bosio

      Jesus proclaimed: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”  

     Mary, a young sales executive was traveling with her manager, Jack, a middle-aged vice president of marketing in a fast growing company.  Jack and Mary had been on the road together for the past five days.  They crisscrossed the country from Atlanta to Chicago, Boston, Los Angeles, and now they are in San Francisco.  They are spending the weekend here while waiting to meet a customer on Monday.

     During the weekend they went sight seeing together and now, Sunday evening, they are sitting in the hotel restaurant for a drink and dinner.  They talk about their families and their dreams.  Mary is single and hopes to soon getting serious with her boyfriend, but not sure when.  She talks about missing him.  Jack, who is married and has three sons, talks mostly about his children and their school activities.  Throughout their dinner conversation Jack is noticing how attractive Mary is, how comfortable he feels in her company and how much he enjoys being with her and talking to her.  These feelings of comfort stand in contrast with the lingering feelings of anger toward his wife from the argument they had just before he left home. 

     After dinner they walk to the elevator while talking about the schedule of the next day’s activities.  When the elevator stops at the Jack’s floor, he turns to Mary to say “Good Night!” Mary grabs his hand and says with a big smile: “Wait! Come to my room for a drink.  I have enjoyed very much this weekend with you!”  Jack is taken aback, not expecting this invitation.  He hesitates for a moment, then he responds: “Mary, thank you so much for the invitation.  It is getting late and I promised my wife I would call her.”  Then, he steps out of the elevator.  “Good night!  I’ll see you tomorrow” he says, as the door closed.

     Pope Benedict writes in his book Jesus of Nazareth that Christ proclaims blessed those who seek the truth because through it they find God.  He writes: “God demands that we become inwardly attentive to his quiet exhortation, which is present in us and which tears us away from what is merely habitual and puts us on the road to truth.” (p.92). This is what Jack did.  Although Mary’s invitation might have been innocent, Jack listened to the voice inside that said: “Avoid this situation.”  He was married and did not want put himself in a situation that could compromise first of all his faithfulness to his wife and secondly, his role as Mary’s manager. 

     For married persons living Jesus’ call to hunger and thirst for righteousness means striving to do God’s will.  It means, first of all, being true to one’s marital commitment and to all the promises we make each other every day, big and small.  Promises are what hold us together as a couple.  It is on promises kept that we build our trust and it is through growth in trust that we open ourselves to an intimate relationship with our beloved.  Thornton Wilder wrote in The Skin of Our Teeth:“I didn't marry you because you were perfect… I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults.  And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage.”

     At our wedding we promised to be true in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.  This fundamental promise means more than just avoiding situations that could lead to inappropriate decisions, like Jack did.  It also means keeping the daily small promises we make to each other, such as: showing up on time, when we said we would, or calling to alert the spouse that we will be late; stopping by a store to pick up a special item, as we promised to do; mailing a package, as we said we would; being honest and saying what we think; helping out our spouse, when we promised we would; and many other situations we encounter every day.

     For Christian spouses the temptation to breach one’s promises is not less appealing than for anyone else, but our ability to resist these temptations is greater because of the gift of fortitude, Christians receive through God’s grace.  Fortitude is one of the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit received at Baptism.  When we resolve to do what is right in God’s eyes, the power of his grace makes up for the weakness of our will.  All we need to do is ask.  “Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete,” tells us Jesus. (John 16:24)

Question for reflection: How successful are you at keeping the promises you make to your spouse?  When was the last time you said you would do something for your spouse and then you did not?  How did you feel?  When was the last time your spouse promised to do something for you, and then did not?  How did you feel?